Day 20 - Poured Out

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed...

There were words...a jar of words, maybe a box full, or even a store house...of thoughts and prayers that needed to be shared, unloaded, poured out for a purpose.

I prayed, Lord, take these gifts for your kingdom. In exchange He gave me pain and loss. He gave me grief and loneliness. He brought me through the desert to face impossible things.

Then he sent community. He gave me a kindred-spirit friend. She told me I had a message to share. There were those who were searching and hoping. And I had all these words in my hands.

He taught me confidence in him, not in me. He told me to write and to share, to be vulnerable and free. So I did. I wrote and shared and I wept and prayed.

Then he gave me servant-hood. He taught me love for the unlovable. He humbled me, least I forget that I am just me. He guided me on a path of peace.

He gave me intimacy in friendships, mentors, and opportunities to lead. Though I wanted to pull back into the the shadows, he brought me into his glorious light. He gave me a platform and a voice.

And though I trembled, he steadied my feet as I walked along. But I looked at the the beautiful load and I struggled to pick it up. I began to strive and stumble and bend. So he broke me.

He brought loneliness, uncommon-ness, and vulnerability. I faced myself in the mirror and knew it deeper still. I am just me. But He is he. And he is enough.

He takes my not enough and fills it up with his enough-ness. He fills me with living water so that I may be poured out.

I am not a water tank to store up good treasures and keep them to myself. He made me to be a vessel that pours not stores. I am a conduit. Let him flow.

Revive My Heart - Write 31 Days

Day 19 - Open Heart

"Behold, I stand at the door [of the church] and continually knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him (restore him), and he with Me."

Yesterday I posted about having guarded hearts Vs. guarding our hearts. We reflected on what it might mean to guard our hearts for Christ while tearing down the walls we've build around them. How having an open heart means letting in true joy, and I will add, freedom.

A friend responded so beautifully with this prayer,
"Lord, I pray for all the people reading this post, that they would have the ability to break down walls with unlovable people. Strengthen them to feel your love so that when they are wounded by others, they are not destroyed. Help them to love with no expectation of being loved back. Because Lord, You loved us even while we were still in our trespasses and sins. May we have the strength to do this. Amen!" {Susan Evans}
And today, this extraordinary piece pops up on my computer screen, and I am blown away! This is so powerful. Listen to Hosanna's spoken word performance of "Knocking..." A piece about letting God into our walls...

Hosanna Poetry- "Knocking"